The Twelve Days Of Turkey by Heidi Thurston

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We are well into October and you know what that means: Thanksgiving is just around the corner. So here are some thoughts before you go out and buy that big Tom Turkey:

Everyone knows about The Twelve Days of Christmas, but how many of you have ever considered “The Twelve Days of Turkey?” Turkey is uniquely American and to most citizens it would not be Thanksgiving without a meal with a big bird complimented by all the trimmings. But unless you are part of a family consisting of at least a dozen people, a large turkey can create a big problem – namely, leftovers.
Most women, having spent a small fortune on a turkey, will look forward to spending a little less on meat for the week following Turkey Day and, heaven knows, we budget conscious household-runners enjoy that! The rest of the family, however, does not always see it that way and a pattern, at least in my family, is set:

On Thanksgiving Day my family says to me, “Oh, what a delicious big turkey!”

On the day after Thanksgiving my family says to me, “Boy; those cold turkey sandwiches sure taste good!”

On the third day of turkey my family says to me, “Hot turkey sandwiches are a real treat!”

On Sunday afternoon, while they all watch football games, my family says to me, “Turkey hash goes good with a game!”

Coming home Monday, from school and work, my family says to me, “Do we indeed smell turkey soup?”

On the sixth day of turkey my family is impressed, and say, “Hmmm…soup to chowder; that’s a clever transformation…”

On the seventh day of turkey my family is resigned and says, “Well, this is different. We did not know you could fill crepes with turkey!”

On Thursday after Thanksgiving the turkey, served with leftover trimmings, receive just a, “Not again.”

By Friday they all yell, “Oh, No!”

picked over turkey

By the 10th day my family says absolutely nothing at all. On the 11th day, while looking at what’s left of the hated bird, they tell me they are not hungry.And on the very last day – the 12th – as I sit alone (they all called and said they were sorry but they could not make it home for dinner), I take what’s left, dump it in the garbage and settle down with a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.

Needless to say, we do not have turkey for Christmas.